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Tales From The Teller

by Jessie Williams

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1.
Direct me for I am worn She tells me through thick and wide doors Decisions are stressful and life gets so messy It leaves us entrenched in remorse Well I'd help you if I had a clue Instead I'm as anxious as you So leave me to stir in intangible hurt A hurt that no hands can undo I've got this feeling in the pit of my belly The one that convinced me that crying and yelling Was how I would get through, the right way of dealing with this I've got a woman that I love and cherish But I can't commit to consuming her sadness So I'll be gone swiftly South out of Phoenix again Each place has it's own ups and downs It's worse for a stranger in town You've got a big X on the back of your head And they talk and they gossip so loud Stick around and assimilate fine Fit into a tragic design Just another life lost to the grim albatross Trapped in a facet of time And I've got this feeling in the pit of my belly An aching and pulling that is trying to tell me You made a mistake and you must go back searching for her I loved a woman so sweet and so tender Now I'm just hoping she only remembers Me fondly as I may return to the place of our birth Now I'm sitting alone in the dark With my head in my hands and a hole in my heart And the moment I see her the ring on her finger Pins me where optimists starve And I'm walking the streets once again Like a creature of night shooting dice with the dead And I'm dreaming of her and her hazy allure Just wishing the wailing would end
2.
Forgiveness 04:30
Product of my own demise I see you in the mirror That easy going, lightly flowing life ain't hard to steer Somewhere someone took something from you, something you miss And now you ride the highline through your cluttered consciousness Sit me down and ask me why I talk before I think It must be all the living just comes walking over me You spend your whole life looking for a reason to believe You spend your whole life praying just to end up on your knees Nightfall brings the shadows that dissolve in disarray But when it comes the morning you'll be lonesome all the same And every misdirection is a chance to break away Though time won't lend forgiveness unless you learn from your mistakes See a darkness in the heart of every man that's come to age It leaves a sadness blunt and savage on the land it's come to plague A beauty so unfounded it has grounded me in shame Is now left to ooze and fester in it's hunger to remain And you and I lie selfish in our restless energies Crawling through the jungle of cemented sensory And if I die tomorrow, send a message of relief Time will lend forgiveness at the end of everything
3.
For many summers I lay in wonder Rolling around a concrete tomb I held my breath for half a century To mask the stench of rotting food But life goes quick as candlewicks They're burning fast as fossil fuels You blink your eyes and you will find The big sky is calling out for you On bleeding ground our feet are bound by constructs of the modern world The seeds that thrive aren't alive what is real or not becomes a blur Our sustenance depends on this system of expensive taste And left alone we build our homes Atop the ecosystems grave Brace yourself old holy roller Life is a broken roller coaster And staying safe has taken all of me Shut me out and lay me under The passing of 1,000 summers Go racing by inside these walls of sleep
4.
My eyes are growing heavy riding past the mausoleum Nearing city limits, where the water meets the sand And I'm riding in a truck bed full of dogs and scraps of metal My uncle is driving drunk and swerving side to side again A bitter winter cold sends a chill into my bones All the way back home There's nothing much to see here in Southeastern Mississippi Just a couple kids shooting bullets at the sky Most of us grow old still longing for the city Trying to find meaning in our empty little lives Those of us that don't find our place among the stars A place to come apart So many broken bodies lying underneath the ledge They say their ghosts still hover near the Southside city bridge Sometimes I go there looking for an old friend in the wind And I just sit and ask them how they've been
5.
The hardest part of letting go? The fear of ending up alone The plunge into the great unknown The stories of our lives Work is long and death is slow All my friends are getting old They're laying bricks with wicker bones And moving down the line Lady luck has came and gone She leaves behind her waning song We use her up and write her off When she's done her time Flawed and lost what is left to lose? We're holding close our wasted youth Now all that we can really do Is pray we don't subside The symptom is the loss of will The cause is all the blood we've spilled Disease has spread and always will So long as there is life

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released March 29, 2020

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Jessie Williams Tucson, Arizona

Folk music from the Southwest

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